2 Krazy 2 Kare
by KrazyCullen13
Summary: Bella is fed up with listening to everybody telling her what she can and cannot do so she is showing them her ghetto side that nobody knows about. Don't read if you're not gonna review. Done in collaboration with Calvin127.
1. Chapter 1

**WHAT IT DO, READERS? KRAZYCULLEN13, along with my handy brother Calvin127, for my first _of many_ Twilight fanfiction stories. If you don't like it, or it just don't match ya style, don't read it. If you flame me, I will find you, give you a paper cut, and let Jasper after you! Nah, nah, I'm just playin'... OR AM I? Seriously, just enjoy the fic. Seriously. I almost forgot. If you don't like Edward bashing, or are the faint of heart, click the back button at the top right corner of your browser NOW. If not, by all means, proceed.**

**Calvin127: I'm just scribing here. Don't bash me if you don't like it. She comes up with all the ideas.**

**KrazyCullen13: Thanks for ratting me out. Anyways, hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Neither I, KrazyCullen13, nor my brother, Calvin127, own anything other than this story.**

**Chapter 1: The Twister Beatdown**

**(Bella's POV)**

We were all intertwined, playing Twister. Girls vs. Boys. I looked up, and saw a leg cross my head. I look around me, as we were jumbled up, in a big-ass ball. I shook. Rosalie's foot kicked me in the ass.

"Stop fidgeting, dammit." I hissed at Rosalie.

"Sorry." Rosalie replied. "Emmett was kissing me. I can't help it."

Right next to me, Emmett shook in laughter.

"You fucking cheater. No bribes! No fucking bribes! Rosalie, stay strong, damn you!" I growled at them.

"Sorry." Was all Emmett said.

"You're right." Rosalie replied.

"We can do this." I said.

"I can hang here all day!" Alice chimed in from behind me. I looked under me, and saw that she was under Jasper, in a very sexual position.

"Good God, you people are like a box of hamsters, all over each other." I sighed.

"What you know about hamsters?" Jasper said in a deep voice.

"Now, now," Esme said. "No talking dirty in this family."

"Sorry." Everyone but me said. I was left out, and said, "My bad." I a sarcastic voice.

We were tied, none of us broke. I was not gonna stand here forever. One of them had to break. And I didn't mean us girls. We were gonna win, whether they like it or not.

"Right foot green, left arm blue." Carlisle chimed. It was Edward's go. He just rolled his eyes, and made his move. Strangely, I felt something hovering over me. I moved my head slightly to see what was going on above me. I saw Edward's face inches from mine.

"Hello, love." He said with a smirk.

"Hi." I said plainly. His scent washed over my face like rain, or a warm shower; it was refreshing. I tipped slightly, losing my balance, but manged to save myself just in time. The whole ball rocked.

"Everybody okay?" Esme asked.

"Who was that? Who is trying to kill us?" Emmett yelled. Edward just rolled his eyes, and focused on me. For what felt like forever, we were locked in a stare-down, neither of us blinking, or breathing, for that matter. Esme went, Carlisle went, Emmett, Rosalie, then Jasper. Edward and I continued our intense staring war. Alice's turn.

"Right elbow orange, head yellow."

"This is not good for my hair." Alice complained.

"Stop bitching and do it already." I snapped at her. It was Edward's turn now.

"Left leg blue." Jasper said. Edward swung his leg over my head, but missed, instead stepping on my fingers.

"Ow, shit!" I exclaimed, drawing my hand back, causing me to lose balance yet again. Once again, I was able to recover.

"Sorry." Edward whispered.

"Damn right, 'sorry'. That hurt." I scolded him.

"Sorry." He repeated. "I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Dude, stop apologizing. You've been apologizing 24/7. I have brothers, remember? There are 5 of them. We roughhouse all the time. It's no biggie."

"But I really am sorry." Edwards repeated again.

"Seriously, stop fucking apologizing, you're annoying the hell out of me." I growled.

"I'm sorry for annoying the hell out of you." Edward repeated yet again. From the smirk on his face, I knew he was gonna agitate me on purpose. Well, that wasn't gonna happen. His face moved closer, and closer, and closer... he sadly had me thinking he was going to kiss me. Instead, he whispered in my ear the following words: "I'm sorry."

"Apologize one more motherfucking time, and Imma get outta this ball, and I will find a way to hurt you!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry!" He repeated. I glared in with such ferocity, that if looks could kill, his face would spontaneously combust, and fall to the floor in a pile of ashes. But I wouldn't wish such a thing on anyone, especially him, my fallen angel. But he was pissing me off! "You're serious, aren't you?" He said sarcastically with a crooked smile.

"Edward, I'm not talking to you anymore!" I screeched at him. Everyone laughed.

"I'm sorry!" He repeated for the umpteenth time. That did it. The ball broke.

"That's it! I'm not playing with your ass anymore!" I screeched, getting up and chasing him around the room.

He moved to one corner, repeating his accursed apology, then moved to another corner, repeating it again. I followed him, throwing anything I could get my hands on, from pillows, to glass bottles, to pictures. He neatly dodged all of them, saying "I'm sorry" for each one he dodged. Finally, I caught him, thanks to Emmett's distraction of 'Hey, the guys won!' I didn't give a damn about that right now, I wanted Edward, and not in _that _way. I dragged him into the kitchen by his ear, provoking him to repeat "I'm sorry"over and over.

"Ouch, that hurts." He whined as I dragged him into the kitchen, and slammed the door, where a silence followed.

**(Carlisle's POV)**

It was too silent. We all stood around the room, looking at each other. I swear I could hear the rats fucking outside.

"I'm scared." Esme whispered, coming close to me.

The silence was broken by a loud **BANG! **Followed by the sound of broken glass, and a snapping sound, followed by a cry of pain, and a loud 'I'm sorry!'. Bella opened the door, holding what looked like the handle to my broom. She had a devilish smirk on her face that would make the devil shit himself.

"B-B-Bella? W-What happened?" I asked cautiously, with sad uncertainty that my son was most likely dead.

"Oh, it's all good." Bella said with a coolness in her tone that wasn't like her.

"You...killed...my...brother!" Alice sobbed hysterically. We looked behind her, to see Edward belly crawling out of the kitchen with an anime-style lump on his head, and he was holding his side.

"Bet you won't say 'I'm sorry' now, will you?" Bella asked. Edward rolled over onto his back, and lay as still as a possum playing dead.

"No... I'm good." he mumbled, struggling to breathe. "I-I-I can't take too much more of this abuse. I'm calling the cops on you. What's next? Rape?"

"Maybe..." Bella said with a crooked smile on her face.

Edward turned pure white(if that's even possible, considering he's already pale), and murmured in a barely audible voice, "Oh, shit."

"Let me help you up." Bella said, extending a hand towards him. He accepted after a minute of cautiously looking it over. He got up, and the lump on his head had vanished.

**(Bella's POV)**

The rest of the day went by pretty much uneventfully, and sleepiness came over me. I found myself sitting on Edward's lap. I had fallen asleep during the third part of Toy Story III. The last thing I remember was Edwards whispering in my ear, 'I'm sorry. Good night, love.'

"Damn...you..." I mumbled back before I succumbed to sleep.

**KrazyCullen13: Hope you liked it. Please review.**

**Calvin127: Yes. Please. The reviews will keep us going. Please and thank you. BTW, We won't be updating until we have 10 reviews.**

**KrazyCullen13: DEUCES PEEPS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**KrazyCullen13: Hello again, we're back with Chapter 2. This chapter will be a bit confusing. Like we said before, if you don't it, click the back button at the top right corner of your screen NOW.**

**Calvin127: Hey! You stole my bit!**

**KrazyCullen13: And? What are you gonna do about?**

**Calvin127: Watch as I incorporate my powers of hypnosis on the readers. When release you from my spell, you will have enjoyed our story as much as humanly possible. When you come to, you will see a button on the bottom of the screen labeled 'Review this story'. You will feel the need to move the clicker-thingy on your computer screen to the Review button. **

**KrazyCullen13: Neither I, KrazyCullen13, nor my brother, Calvin127, own anything but this story.**

**Chapter 2: Kickass**

**(Bella's POV)**

(Next Day)

I woke up to the sound of Emmett's laughter, and Edward's as well. I rolled off the bed, I put on a robe, and some bunny slippers that Alice bought me for Valentine's Day. I opened, the door, walked down the hallway, to the stairs, and looked over the railing.

"Uh-oh." Emmett said.

"I'm sorry, love. Did we wake you?" Edward asked.

"No, I was getting up anyways." I replied, coming down the stairs. I was halfway down the stairs, when I tripped, and went tumbling down. Luckily, Alice was there to catch me.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"What the- how the- when the- why the...FUCK!" I yelled. I can deal with sadistic vampires trying to kill me, but my family too? What the FUCK did I do?"

"What was it, Emmett?" Edward asked. "Emmett, what the FUCK WAS IT?" Clearly, listening to the thoughts in Emmett's head.

"I-it-umm-it was the Wii controller." Emmett stuttered.

"Hon, let's get this clear." I told Emmett calmly. "Keep yo MOTHAFUCKIN SHIT OFF THE MOTHAFUCKIN FLOOR!"

"I'm sorry." Emmett said.

"DON'T... FUCK WITH ME, DAMMIT!" I screeched.

"I'm sorry!" He whimpered, running out the door at breakneck speed.

"Wow." Alice said. "Yeah, he's become really sensitive after we got back (New Moon)."

"Oh. I'm sorry." I said.

"Look who's saying 'I'm sorry' now, huh?" Alice teased.

"Shut up, Alice." I growled. Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"Nobody's home. Go away." Jasper called from the other room. "We no buy Girl Scout Cookies." We all laughed.

"It's me." An unfamiliar voice said. I had to think: who did that sound like? I finally recognized the voice: Jacob Black.

"No Girl Scout Cookies! Go away! We no like cookies!" Jasper shouted.

"Behave, guys. Best behavior, remember?"I said, glaring at Edward.

"I _guess _I'll try." Edward said off-handedly.

"Mmhmm." I said, rolling my eyes. Edward opened the door, and said the most childish thing:

"Hey look, doggie came home! Your bowl's in the corner." He petted him on the head, then wiped his hand on Jacob's shirt. "Might have fleas."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever." Jacob deadpanned. "I'm here for Bella." Then it hit me. I was wearing blood red pajama pants and a tank top. Pure silk, thanks to Rosalie. Also known to come from Victoria's Secret.

"Bella. Wow. You wore that for me? You dirty flirt." Jacob said with a smirk, but his view of me was blocked by Edward.

"You can come in, just no humping the girl." Edwards said with a glare.

"You wish she would wear that for you. That's for Edward." Emmett said. All I could do was giggle. None of them moved. They just stood still on the porch.

"Close the door. You're letting fleas in." Rosalie said, walking past Edward.

"Come outside." Jacob said.

"It's too hot outside. I'll burn up." I said.

"You can always take your clothes off." Jacob said hopefully.

"Dude, keep dreaming." Edward said. "If you're gonna have a pottymouth, get your ass off my fucking porch."

"Okay, I'll keep dreaming about yo mama naked in my bed if you want me to." Jacob sneered.

"Bitch, what the fuck you say about my mama?" Everyone excluding me said.

"Aww, is Snow White getting mad?" Jacob taunted.

"Bitch, please. I will roast yo ass like a Thanksgiving turkey. Don't get me started." I could tell that Edward has gotten ghetto over the years of hanging around me and my ghetto friends.

"Snowbell, you couldn't roast a marshmallow." Jacob taunted. The war has begun.

"Shut the fuck up before I mess up yo pretty boy swag." Edward said. Everyone laughed at that one.

"Don't be mad 'cause Bella like it." Jacob countered.

"If you don't get yo wannabe Soulja Boy lookin' ass off my goddamn porch, I'mma get the vacuum out on yo bitch ass." Edwards growled.

"Alright, that's enough." I shouted. Out of nowhere, my phone rang the Crank Dat Soulja Boy(Cue song in background). Everyone started doing the Soulja Boy.

"Now watch me yoouu, now watch me yoouu, now watch me yoouu, now watch me yoouu,

I'm bouncing on my toe  
Watch me super soak that hoe  
I'm gonna pass it to Arab  
Then he's gonna pass it to don loc (loc)  
Haters wanna be me  
Soulja boy, I'm the man  
They be looking at my neck  
Saying it's the rubber band man (man)  
Watch me do it (watch me do it)  
Dance (dance)  
Let get to it (let get to it)  
Nope, you can't do it like me  
Hoe, so don't do it like me  
Folk, I see you tryna do it like me  
Man that bitch is ugly" They all pointed at Jacob on the last line. Paul jumped in unexpectedly and said something that could have caused WWIII:

"Bitch, I don't know who you think you is, but take yo ass eatin' self somewhere." All I could see was Edward twitching, and I knew I had to get in there. Some flew past me; It was Jasper. He ran in front of Edward, and I had to ask what was wrong with him.

"His whole body shut down." Jasper said. Out of nowhere, Edward lurched past Jasper, and charged at Paul with a fist raised. He exploded, hammering his face with his fist repeatedly while yelling at him.

"Let me tell you something, BEE-YATCH." Edward yelled, pounding Paul's into the ground. "I am Edward Anthony MOTHAFUCKIN CULLEN! AND IMMA WHOOP YO ASS!" Before he could, I had to stop it. I grabbed him by the arm, and got in front of him.

"Calm down. Calm down. I'm here. It's okay." I said.

"THE HELL IT AIN'T OKAY! IMMA WHOOP HIS MOTHAFUCKIN ASS FOR THAT SHIT!" Edward shouted.

"Edward, just get upstairs." I said.

"IMMA WHOOP HIS ASS INTO HIS MOTHAFUCKIN THROAT-"

"Edward Anthony Cullen, get your crazy ass up those goddamn stairs right this second, you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am." Edward pouted, and zoomed upstairs.

"Meow. Fit-choo!" Jacob said. (Jacob is calling Edward whipped).

"THAT MOTHAFUCKIN-"

"EDWARD!" I shouted. "Do NOT make me come up there!"

"Go eat a dick, Jacob Black!" Edward yelled.

"Do I need to do to you what I did yesterday?" I called up the steps.

"Okay, I'm sorry, just don't give me a whooping, mommy!" Edward whined before going to his room and slamming the door.

"E-e-e-e-edward's k-k-kinda c-c-c-crazy." Jacob stammered. I don't think I wanna fight him anymore.

After everything settled down and everyone went home, when we were all in the house, I drank some water, calmed my self, and went upstairs to talk to Edward.

**KrazyCullen13: Well, we hope you liked it. Please review.**

**Calvin127: Help! My sides are on FIRE! Get me water!**

**KrazyCullen13: Like I said, review.**

**Calvin127: See you next time!**

**KrazyCullen13: Deuces!**


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